Hope Hardwork and Lady luck

I once heard my friend tell me that " hope is the hatstand he hangs his dreams on " which was true in a sense considering everyday he lived was a boon while he guarded the borders of our country.

I have made that my motto because nothing seems to work out anymore. I mean we make plans to go for a holiday and all our hopes are set on those beautiful valleys below the snowy caps of the Himalayas and suddenly the boss comes in and dumps more work on your table and cancels your leave. That time when you wanted to be on time to pick up the girl of your dreams and a tyre goes flat and you get delayed and your clothes get dirty. Hope is a sorry joke that is played on us ant like humans.Romans hoped to rule the world forever, well they didn't count on being thrown out of the British isles when they were. The British hoped to dominate the whole world forever and they got raped by the Americans first and then the world went crazy on their hinny.

Hell Hitler wanted to rule the world and see what happened...his hope was first destroyed by the best vodka makers in the world and then the inventors of evening tea made his plan and hope a royal mess. Hitler then got screwed by the maker of the hotdog and well then that was that..he couldnt believe that food and drink made so much of a difference so he shot himself. so much for THAT HOPE. History is full of instances like these where hope has been lost and very rearely found. As is with everyday life.

Well along with hope a lot else goes wrong too like the want to work further. I ask so WHAT if something you hoped for didnt happen. Why are you giving up? Just because you hoped for a promotion at the next review and it didn't happen doesn't mean you give up. What most don't realize and fail to take into account is that HOPE is just 1% of the whole equation. You have hard work and also the very moody Lady luck.

Now Hard work is something we all profess we do. But we and only we know how much is true. We might say that we spend 15 hrs in the office, but out of those 15 hours how many do you spend on coffee breaks and how many on smoking breaks and how many just aimlessly chatting with people on the office phone. That's not hard work, that's Hardly any work. That's not how anything will get done. If you say 15 hours then you should be putting atleast 13 hours of work into it. Life is hard and we cant be banking on hope to get us through. It is a powerful psychological drug that gets us through a lot but then if the drug does not work then we get depressed.

Now to Lady luck. Ah the elusive and desirable Lady luck. How everyone of us wants to make her ours for life but we don't realize that she is everybody's mistress but nobody's wife. Through time what not has been used to charm her. Charms and spells and rabbit feet and what not. Sadly worked only for a few for a limited time because her attention span is that of a lady standing in a multibrand clothing store. Sorry folks but its true. Its going to take more than a rabbit's foot and all the charms in the world to have lady luck favour you.

Hopes and wishes can be made and prayed upon but they are upto us to make come true. The big baluga sitting up in the skies isn't going to do all the dirty work for you. There will be times where you  will have to get down in the mud and get as dirty as pig....the difference being you wont enjoy it but the pig will.

A Maze

My mind is a maze i cannot figure,
No matter how hard i tried it is failed use of vigor.

Confusion reigns here supreme,
Darkness spreads at times to extremes.

I know not what i am here to do,
At times my mind feels like a zoo.

Trapped with my thoughts like animals in a cage,
Fill me with frustration and rage.

A little clarity is certainly required,
Or else for life i am going to be tired.

You used to guide me and help me through this maze,
It was all so clear but now only haze.

I wish you would come back and hold my hand,
Lead me to the end, the sea and the sand.

I wish to be free of the haze and this pain,
To see the maze clearly and push myself in wain.

I want to think clearly as clear as the bright day,
If only this confusion left me and let me go out and play.

Shards

They are a part of me i accept that's true,
Shattered from a life that on the floor you threw.

A million pieces scattered and strewn,
with blood that oozed over them and filled the room.

I see no colour and my body doesn't bleed,
But the life out of my soul slowly leaves.

I watch it ooze and let it flow,
I have no energy so i let it go.

These shards they prick me and make me start,
True to the aim they prick my heart.

I cringe i weep i beg you so,
Not a care in the world you don't stop my flow.

I slowly get lost in my own darkness,
Not feeling the pain only on my face the dampness.

My soul has bled and has no more,
It is left mutilated and gored.

The darkness has engulfed me swallowed me whole,
The shards are all i feel as i fall down this hole.

Darkness

" Hello Darkness my old friend " A classic companion of simon and garfunkel...my constant companion now for more years than i care to remember.

Darkness has taken over my mind.....no i am not dying as yet there is a feeling of dread that has filled the catacombs of what i call my mental arena. A feeling of dread and despair, morbid thoughts and negativity. Its like i am harboring a dying being in my head, An animal that's wounded and needs help but somehow i don't know how to help it. How do i relieve myself of this feeling, this gnawing sense of a dreadful voice and sounds of something.

I spend nights awake listening to the trees rustle and the owls hoot. I listen for those sounds that live in my mind, those screams of silence and the heavy breathing of death. I listen close for her voice which taunts me and screams at me, calling my name out as she mocks me and call me a FOOL. I don't know who she is or what it is, but its there. I call it my despair and depression, others might call it my insecurities and my fear. I really am at a loss as to what to name it or how to address it and be rid of it. Alas it doesn't happen.

Spent years hitting the bottle trying to drown the voice out. Drank myself under yet that voice remained. Drank myself to the edge and yet the voice and the sounds never went away, the less sober i was the wilder the sounds and voice became till it was a shrill screaming in my head and i'd pass out and wake up to a sense of nothingness and a world that sadly hadn't changed. To think i was only out for a few hours and seemed like eternity. Many a tine i would ponder what made me pass out, was it the alcohol or was it the shrill screaming of a banshee in my head that pushed me over into that world of nothingness for a few hours where i was deaf and blind and had found solace from that being for sometime.

Sometimes i question who i am and what am i doing here. Questions that i have never found the answers for yet kept becoming less sure of myself. I was called confident for so long and yet on the inside i was craving for support, Like a newborn craves for milk and food. I snatched at straws till i realized what that voice in my head had done to me. Made me weak and made me dependent. I curse it and i curse it much but it didn't change a thing in the wretched life.

I still don't sleep well at night. thankfully i sleep some. But those morbid thoughts are still there and the sense of despair is still there but i hope to get out of it soon. Its been far too long and today it almost did me in, but i have lots to carry on for i think and lots to do in this one small life. Hopefully the Darkness will not me engulf before my time is done.

Would you leave a girl who doesnt fight with you?

You have to be Effing mad to leave her man. I mean all our lives we look for that one person who can give us that peace of mind but in the end we have to settle for what we get ( thanks to the arranged marriage system ) IF you have a girlfriend that does not fight with you nor want to prolong an argument..HOLD ONTO HER...cause if you let her go  you would be the biggest idiot to have walked this planet since the Neanderthal idiot! ( no evidence on his existence but we are hopeful it will be forth coming soon ) She is the one who will keep you happy because she will always keep your needs in mind. She will make sure you have what you need when you need it.

Take the example of Will in what Cosmo issue i don't know and which month i don't know but all you women out there would be aware of this. He was an idiot. He got engaged to a girl who wouldn't fight with him and then broke up with her just because she wouldn't fight...seriously that's the kind of guy who needs to sign up for professional MMA and have his ass handed to him so that he knows what he had in that girl. He cheated on her a week before he broke up with her...well that was his stupidity again but yeah what can i say about Will...he was is and will always remain a dumbass.

Me as a person truly believe that if you fight in a relationship then there is something wrong. Usually fights happen because of ego appeasement. If this is the case then first question you should be asking yourself is what is my ego doing in this relationship, because a relationship is between two people and your ego is a third person or entity. To have a happy and caring and loving relationship you need to put your ego aside with each other and learn to open up and be calm under all situations no matter what, because at the end of the day you only have each other to turn to ( that applies only if you truly love and cherish your partner..if you don't then you're a dumbass for stringing them along for whatever reasons)

I repeat -  IF SHE DOESN'T FIGHT THEN HOLD ONTO HER. if she does dump her ass for not listening and always being a foghorn. same goes for the girls. if he doesn't fight with you and is always trying to make things right and scream its only because he cares...if he shouts like a damn foghorn all the time when angry..well then all i can say is its time to look for greener and more silent pastures.

Toodles y'all